When Couples Have Different Attitudes About Aging

Couples can harbor markedly different views toward aging, and those who mainly concentrate on the disadvantages should realize this behavior is more harmful than they might think, reports the Wall Street Journal . Scientists have learned that people who consider aging primarily in terms of decline or disability will likely experience declining health. On the other hand, those who frame getting older in terms of opportunity and growth tend to have better health outcomes as a whole. According to psychologist Maryanne Vandervelde, spouses can anticipate these issues by asking each other pointed questions early in retirement about aging and its effects, like their attitudes about aging and strategies to improve their mental health. She stresses that spouses should have a sense of humor about aging, and get in the habit of forgiving each other. "Forgiveness may not come easily after many years of disappointments or old grudges within a relationship," Vandervelde admits. "We also get more set in our ways as we age. But 'practice makes perfect' applies to forgiveness."